Not My Season

I was sitting on the porch one afternoon in deep thought feeling really down on myself  when the thought went through my mind “see that tree” and I looked in front of me and looked at a tall scraggly old scrub oak tree. 

 The seasons were changing and all the leaves had fallen off the tree which really made it look awful. You could see different areas where it carried the scars from many a storm.  I thought yes I see the tree when the thought went through my mind thats how people see you right now, they see you as ugly and all washed up with no hope. I said yea I know thats how I feel to. I saw where limbs were missing  and could see and how life had been hard on that old scrub oak tree and it looked  just plain ugly without it leaves to hide some of its war wounds. Yet it stood strong and proud even though it had been stripped of all of  its dignity. I thought thats me, I am all washed up I’m old to tired and discouraged to try to start over again yet there was still a tiny slither of hope .

I looked to my right and there was a Dagwood tree still full of green; yellow and red leaves and flourishing beautifully. It went through my mind “Its not your season”; I thought now what is that suppose to mean. Don’t listen to them they don’t understand It’s simply not your season . Lean on me not mankind. Seek me. Read my word; focus and learn of me. I knew God gave me dreams only He could help me accomplish, and I couldn’t understand why those promises lay doormat for so long because I knew and still know God always keeps His promises. And now I know it’s simply not my season yet but it is coming.  I am content to wait on Jesus to speak the words as my season begins.

November 13, 2008

I should mention my friends name is Sandy. She has a screened in porch with several wooden rocking chairs. Oh! How  the enjoyment I have received sitting on that porch watching humming birds; squirrels; butterflies; and regular ever day delightful birds. We had a gopher for a time who dissapeared while I was in California visiting my younger son and his family. I have a 4 year old granddaughter and a brand new grandson and the sweetest daughter-in-law. I have been blessed with two awesome sons in spite of my mistakes in life.

Sandy has planted several different flowers and bushes that attract butterflies and humming birds. She also has humming bird feeders hanging in various spots in the the yard; some real close to the porch and of course birdhouses full of various different kinds of bird seeds.   

I have spent countless hours on that porch talking to the Lord; repenting and growing spirtually each day. Being raised by very negetive people who suffered fro severe depression and just plain meanness I never learned how to dream ; to have positive hopes and asparations. My dreams were surronded and burried in hopelessness and despair. Most of this was the family who raised me’s perception of themselves passed on to me and their children. If you are one of those people who spews out ugly; hateful; condecending words and could care less at the time you are spewing them  who you hurt or maybe it is your most ferverant desire to hurt the person who is your innocent victim I will tell you I was once you.   Get help it isn’t worth the price your victims have to pay for the rest of their lives and its not worth the price you are paying and the price you will when you see the  harm you have caused those dearest to you. When I started writing this blog I had no intention of of writing any of this; but I here I am telling some of the story.  I am in the process of writing three books one of them is “Talitha Cum” it is the story about a lady named Dorcus. Most of what I will be sharing here will be in the book. I will be sharing many little nuggets of truth I was taught by the Lord as He gave me this story to write.                                                   

Yes! There Is Life After Sixty

A little over three years ago I had a mild stroke and a bad case of burn out from working far to many hours. Seemed almost everyone I cared about turned their backs on me; or so it seemed to be the case to me at the time. Now I realize life happens and a lot of those people had serious issues they were trying to deal with themselves at the same time my rope broke and spriled me into what appeared to be an endless battle with severe depression and despair. I lost my job, then my apartment, cell phone, vehicle, most of my belongings gained tons of weight and still and obese. Most of those things are only material and  I am so blessed because I was allowed to keep  two things that meant the world to me. My precious dog and cat. So as far as I am concerned I lost nothing and have gaind much.I thought I had lost every friend I had thank God I was wrong, my best friend let me move in with her and supported me until I could get income of my own. My sons also did what they could at the time and  I now rent a room from best friend and am writing books. My friend not only supported me she also supported my pets. Yes peroidically I worked and paid my own way but there was a time I relied completely on her help and her support. My friend had been praying that God use her home for a sanctuary for His wounded beaten children. How many of you know you should never say anything to Him you do  not mean? He took her at her word and sent me and I am forever thankful. It has been three years since I moved in and I have learned more in that three years spirtually than I have my whole life. I am amazed at the beauty of God that He has sprinkled all around us that I never noticed until I was forced to sit and either grab hold of the beauty or stay mean; bitter and ugly. Most of my life I was a bitter, harsh unforgiving person. But now I so desire to be humble and appreciate all He has given me and enjoy the beauty of nature but most of all the beauty He has placed within all of us. I wish I could say I have really become proficient in that one thing. But there are those who really challange me in this area. I know you know who they are they are the ones who seem to keep showing up in your life just to challange you to show whether you are really walking the walk or just talking the talk. Daily I grow in Christ and daily I am forever thankful for the life He has given me.

Hello World!

I know that Hello world is the standard opening for wordpress when you create a new account. So when i sat down to create my first blog i was trying to think of a title and i just didn’t know what to say. I thought about it and toyed with all kinds of things but as i kept looking at the title that was there it hit me that the first thing I should do is say hello to the world.

 

As a woman over sixty and the way the world is ever changing it get hard for me to keep up with all the new technology that’s out there. Back in my day technology was for the men and I was the house wife so just getting on the internet was quite the task.

 

The internet has grown in such a way that now even people like me ( technology challenged) can get online and post a blog about my interests which in return helps me reach out and communicate with other with similar interest. 

 

So as I grab my mouse and open my blog and start typing my first blog I decided that the best thing I can say is Hello World my name is Shirley Woodruff and welcome to my part of the internet.

Shirley.