This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it (Ps. 118:24). I am so thankful for this verse because it reminds me that I live and breathe today. God was gracious enough to allow me to wake up again and fulfill the call He has placed on me and my life. It reminds me I should be thankful for everything, to embrace each and every challenge that comes my way with a joyful heart and to truly be glad I have the opportunity to overcome the unpleasant events that come to me and embrace and hold on to the good ones. God is so merciful and kind, yet He will not be played for a fool or be disrespected. There is a price to pay for each and every action we take every word we speak. Be it good or bad be sure you will reap what you sow with your mouth good seeds or bad.
Galatians 6:7-10 says: Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned), disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside). [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows that and that only is what he will reap. This is not speaking of sowing tithes as the next verse will explain. (8) For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and destruction but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (AMP version) Are you sowing good seed into your in laws lives. Perhaps you are so busy trying to change them they run when they see you? Are you trying to get them to be who you want them be asking God to change them into the person you absolutely are convinced they should be? Do you pray change them Lord and forgive them for they know not what they are doing? And as you pray do so you feel holy caring and concerned for that person. You need to get over yourself, and get rid of your hidden agenda.
I can only speak for myself, so here goes. I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters-in-laws. They are as different as night and day so are my sons. I haven’t always appreciated them the way I should and still have struggles at times. But they are my struggles due to my insecurities and wrong teachings. I was a child that somehow got separated from my biological family when I was around six or seven years old. I have no idea or cannot remember what happened, but I do know as of this day I never recuperated from losing my mother. I do not remember anyone else but I do remember her and the all consuming love I had for her. My caregivers who raised me were very dysfunctional people with a hidden agenda of their own. Unfortunately time came when I had to completely sever all ties with all of them except one son. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do because one of the children was mentally challenged and I did then and still do love her dearly and miss her. She was never supposed to live to be a teenager yet she still lives and is at least in her late sixties. I married two dysfunctional husbands and out of the first marriage I gave birth to two awesome sons whom I am so very proud of and amazed they came out so well adjusted with two way out of control dysfunctional parents. I have had two empty voids within me. One void is concerning my biological family and the other only God can fill.
There lies one of my problems; recently God showed me I have been constantly trying to build a new family to fill that void. My sons have lives of their own to live and should never have to live with a clingy insecure mother. I had pre conceived ideas of how the relationship with my daughters in laws should and would be. Why we would go shopping together, be friends, call each other and even go to the movies together. You know the story expect them to be who you are absolutely sure they should be. Well did I ever get proven wrong, that is not the case with me and my daughters in laws. So I prayed change them Lord. He told me to change myself. Can you believe that? Well I was shocked, mortified and disappointed. Why should I have to change that would mean I would have to give up my dreams, that’s not fair I thought. You know Lord how empty and lonely I feel inside why can’t they be the person I need them to be? To my surprise I still received the word that I was to pray and ask him to change me not them. Not only that lo and behold I was informed they married my sons not me. And then He sent me to His word to take me to task. It is written in Matthew 19:4-6. He (Jesus) replied, have you never read that He who made them from the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man or woman put asunder (separate). It is written in Genesis 2:24: A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. There is other scripture stating the same thing but I believe this is sufficient. Ladies do not think you are exempt it is the same for both sexes. Well that sure popped my bubble I not only could not have it my way I even have to ask God to change me instead of them. Yet as I pray that he change me and not others no matter who they are I feel more and more free, full and happy.
I see my daughters in a different light and can appreciate them for who they are and their uniqueness and their good qualities. The one who has been my daughter in law the longest is kind and gentle. You never hear her say a negative word about anyone. She and my son live out of state and she allows My son to buy an airplane ticket occasionally so I can visit them and my two precious grandchildren. I say allows meaning she willing sacrifices so that I can visit and treats me like a queen when I am there. I so appreciate her and all she does for me but most of all I appreciate the fact she makes my son and grandchildren happy and puts them first in her life.
My other daughter in law is very different, she is outspoken and assertive. We do not have a close relationship even though we live less than a mile apart. Yet she is special in her own right. I am a divorcee who has been floundering around for some time. I was a stay at home mom and did not even begin to work until I was in my middle forties. Well you know what that means don’t you? Anyway I was renting a room from a dear friend for three years. A lot of that time she let me ride free because I lost my job and had poor health. But the time came when she needed me to move so that she could move her struggling daughter into my room.
Here is what my son and daughter in law did they secured me an apartment close to their home, paid the deposit and the first Months rent. I had little belongings because of poor decisions I made during my lifetime. Like I said before for every action you make there are consequences. I never got to see my apartment until the day I moved in.
I was absolutely stunned, I walked into an apartment that was furnished with absolutely everything I could possible need. Not only was there couches, tables, a bed, dresser, mirrors on the walls but my cupboards, freezer and refrigerator were completely full and there was dishes, silverware, pots, pans, a microwave, toaster. I am sure I have missed a lot, oh yes towels, sheets, washcloths, etc. It was mind boggling and I so appreciated everything. Not only that my son told me my daughter in law worked tirelessly cleaning the apartment, shopping and stocking everything, etc. She did all of this holding down a full time job, and taking care of her family at home.
I have never been able to express my gratitude properly. This I know about her if I need her she is there, if I call her and say I have an emergency she is there for me. So what if she isn’t a preconceived person I dreamed up in my head that she should be.
In my eyes both of my daughters in laws are shinning. As for my dilemma, I have been praying that God change me and help me to build a new life for myself. I have always been an introvert so every time I venture out alone is kind of traumatic but necessary. And I have started writing. The more I lean on and trust God the easier it has become to let go of my fears and step out a little more each time and to appreciate others for who they are not who I want them to be.
I do not know where He is leading me but I do know I look forward to what is coming next. And I know that only He could completely fill the empty void I had in me and I so appreciate Him, His son Jesus who died for me and Holy Spirit. If you are having in law problems release them to God and move forward with him. What have you got to lose? Remember they did not marry you and owe you nothing. Enjoy the times they reach out to you and bless you. Appreciate them for who they are and bless them every chance you get. Another plus is I have a place to go every holiday with lots of yummy food. I could tell of other things that have been done for me by my sons and daughters in laws but I think you get the point.
I do not know where the belief that it is our daughter in laws to worship and adore us mother in laws but it seems to have become a religion in itself. Just say to yourself my daughter in law or mother in law owes me nothing. Love her and move and joyously live your life, she has enough on her plate without you causing problems and trying to change her into who you want her to be. Try it because it is a very freeing feeling.
I would like to say I am blessed with two exceptional daughters in laws and sons. I am blessed by heavens best.